waiting for a phone call

while i am nowhere near as anxious as i was this time last year, i am still pretty on edge every so often, especially when i get news that there might be jobs coming to town. while i am a freelancer, i am trained for and work in a fairly specific sector: entertainment. first, i am NOT an actor (if i was, i could pretty much kiss any possibility of paying back student loans good-bye). but i was trained to work in the theatrical field and have in recent years slowly moved into office-y jobs in film. as such, my livelihood is pretty dependent on living in a place where projects happen and as a current resident of philadelphia, this is not exactly the happeningest place for film, at least no where near the level of nearby new york. but every now and then we get a bone tossed our way and boy, do we find ways to claw ourselves onto the bandwagon. this leads to not just stressful unemployment but stressful attainment of employment. as projects move in, we're all throwing resumes in left and right and maybe under and over and then the most dreaded waiting game. WHEN WILL I GET THE CALL?! maybe today, maybe never. i'm constantly checking my email, checking my phone, tapping past colleagues for any signs. this is all terrible for my sanity and to help relieve this, i go to the gym whenever i get too antsy. while this isn't very helpful in getting me a job, at least i'm going to look good waiting. but seriously, CALL ME.

jury duty: the most boring way to earn $9

having become a citizen in 2007, i have only recently had to experience the sad boring responsibility known as jury duty. as expected, it was not fun, it took a LONG time and i was confronted by the fact that these were not the "peers" that i would want judging me if by whatever reason i get confronted by the legal system. the employees of the court were not funny despite feeble attempts at cracking terrible jokes, the potential jurors were all antsy to leave from the git-go and i did NOT enjoy having to get there by 8:15a. the only two things that i walked away with happily were my $9 check and my freedom to not have to do this again for a while (i was not selected for a jury so hurray!!). i had already received two summonses while i was working and now that i have no job, i had no excuse to not go. plus, now i have an extra couple of bucks to buy more beer for the superbowl! i'm going to say it here: GO COLTS!

people watching (or listening)

the apartment that i share with my lovely husband overlooks a nice little street that every so often provides some entertainment, especially now that i am home a lot. normally, the drama occurs outside the house but today we have crazy man who my neighbor downstairs has decided to splitsville with in my stairwell. i awoke to the doorbell and there he was, mumbling something about how sorry he was to wake me up and that he had forgotten his keys. i noticed that he had a big thing of roses and mentally, i was like, this is weird, why don't you call my neighbor and get her to come let you in but whatever, people forget their keys and are inconsiderate all the time so why should today be different (plus, i was expecting a package and it would have been sort of rude to answer the door and then be like, NO). anyway, hours later, he's still hanging out in the stairwell, having loud conversations with her via phone saying things like "i'm not unstable" and "we have legals obligations to each other." while this is pretty entertaining (much more so than the cat poop she used to leave out on her landing, though about as equally disgusting), i would really like it if he would leave. SERIOUSLY, LEAVE SO I CAN LEAVE MY HOUSE IN PEACE!

staying healthy even if it empties my bank

staying healthy is always an admirable and attainable goal and especially important while unemployed.

while it's been nice sleeping in and pretty much doing whatever i want when i want, one of the things that i am trying to maintain a schedule for is going to the gym. i have gained a few (many) pounds thanks to being fed lunch at my desk everyday. free meals were their way of buying me out of a lunch break, gotta keep paying those bills! (i was working as an accountant for a temporary business and now that it's complete, i am back to the hateful job search.) but as i have no excuse not to try to regain some semblance of health, i have decided to join THE GYM. i'm not saying everyone should join a gym but i know that i'm better at doing something when i have money on the line, ie. gyms cost A LOT. and i have been known to utilize a gym in the past but i also use to have youth on my side and aging has made shaving off pounds exponentially harder. today was day 2 of gymming, partially enforced by my normally lovely husband. i mostly just run on the elliptical since i figure that lifting weights is way too grueling for a novice exerciser. i am happily surprised by the fact that i can still move my body for over 30 minutes at a time without passing out but saddened that this will clearly take longer than i wish. but if i am going to unemployed, at least i'm going to look good doing it! plus, finding a job is tedious and depressing task and exercise has been known to help boost the immune system AND mental health - something we can all use a little more of in this miserably cold winter.

unemployment application

yep, with no prospects in sight, i ask the government, "please, sir, may i have some of the taxes that i've diligently paid all these years back?" while it's not exactly a pleasing prospect, it will hopefully pay the bills while i search for another life plan. i've had discussions on whether taking unemployment is something i should be ashamed of but quite frankly, why should i not take advantage of the benefits that i pay into? it's not like i'm stealing or tricking the government; it's part of where my taxes go and part of the reason to pay into a government and abide by society's rules is to get the benefits. i don't hesitate to call the police when i am being robbed so why should i hesitate to accept monetary benefits that are also rightfully mine? the thing is, i would rather have a secure job and constant income but i don't, so that's what unemployment is for. jobs give me not just money, they give me confidence, a chance to meet new people and a place in the world, something that unemployment deposits can never do.

cleaning, ugh.

being back home at my mom's house, i realize what a hoarder i truly am. as i have no excuse not to, my mom has demanded that try to clean out my childhood things. not that she is trying to be cruel, but we both know that i like to treasure oddities, meaning a lot of it's crap. some of it has brought on waves of nostalgia for the days pre-employment rat race. i have old letters written to me by pen-pals, bff's and who is now my husband that reference events and people i no longer remember. i have memorabilia that have little meaning now though i still remember that at one point, it was IMPERATIVE that i buy another sticker/button/pen that had the name of whatever place we were visiting. i have photos of people i no longer keep in contact with but whose picture i am loathe to toss (thank god for digital and the little space that it requires to keep). when i am employed and busy with work, i have little time to delve into the past and recount these memories. i suppose i should take this time to reflect a bit, especially in light of the new years and all.

2010...

so, not much to update what with all the family craziness of the holidays but i wanted to wish the void a happy new years. even though i don't really believe in new years resolutions since i am of the camp that new years is a pretty arbitrary time to choose to do a 180 on anything, i do have two general resolutions that i want to accomplish in the new year: gain employment and lose some weight. not terribly exciting but hopefully that'll be the only parts that are boring about next year! i wish everyone good health, wealth and happiness!!