desperation

i know that i've come to a rather desperate state when i see nuns and priests and think, "that's gotta be nice. they don't have to worry about needing money for rent or food or clothes. they don't even have to look for a job. too bad i'm married and like things too much. but i could probably learn to pretend to believe in god."

being better

nothing can be worse for an unemployed than to watch cnn everyday and listen to announcements of yet another list of companies who are having layoffs.  last week: at least 70,000 jobs.  this week: more.  even worse might be the tips about how people are "dumbing down" their resumes so that they can get an interview.  why are we looking to be the lowest common denominator?  when did we become a country where being less experienced, less educated meant more likelihood of gaining not employment but just the interview?  the american dream was all about working hard, getting good educations for your children and retiring with dignity and security.  now we try our best to pass off as docile, malleable drone workers that won't cause ripples.  we forget that part of what made this country powerful and respected was the ingenuity and determination of its people.  we used to not be afraid to explore new ideas and attain higher goals.  when i hear my friends talk about how they are quietly trying to hold onto their jobs by not bringing attention to themselves, i feel so frustrated because we were taught to be bold.  in times of crisis, we need to be bigger than ourselves and let the fear of failure overwhelm us.  while i too am scared of my current state of unemployment, i refuse to be less than what i am.  that's not saying i wouldn't take a boring office job to pay the bills (heck, i'll take a cashier job at whole foods) but my employers should always know that when they hire me, i come with talent, work ethic and possibility.  i will always give my best so it's up to them to put me to use wisely.