people watching (or listening)

the apartment that i share with my lovely husband overlooks a nice little street that every so often provides some entertainment, especially now that i am home a lot. normally, the drama occurs outside the house but today we have crazy man who my neighbor downstairs has decided to splitsville with in my stairwell. i awoke to the doorbell and there he was, mumbling something about how sorry he was to wake me up and that he had forgotten his keys. i noticed that he had a big thing of roses and mentally, i was like, this is weird, why don't you call my neighbor and get her to come let you in but whatever, people forget their keys and are inconsiderate all the time so why should today be different (plus, i was expecting a package and it would have been sort of rude to answer the door and then be like, NO). anyway, hours later, he's still hanging out in the stairwell, having loud conversations with her via phone saying things like "i'm not unstable" and "we have legals obligations to each other." while this is pretty entertaining (much more so than the cat poop she used to leave out on her landing, though about as equally disgusting), i would really like it if he would leave. SERIOUSLY, LEAVE SO I CAN LEAVE MY HOUSE IN PEACE!